2026-08-06 · regulation

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Sjana Elise Earp can remember convulsing on the ground thinking 'make it stop, make it stop' after trying to kill herself when she was just 16.

At one point the Instagram star was so depressed she would constantly repeat the words 'pathetic, worthless and useless' as she lay in her bed in a psychiatric hospital.

This may come as a shock to many of her one million followers who know Sjana as a smiling, happy lifestyle blogger who spreads a positive message and leads a glamorous life travelling the world.

But the 21-year-old, who lives in Newcastle, NSW, has now decided to speak out about her private battle with depression, revealing how social media saved her life and inspired her to help others.

Instagram star Sjana Elise Earp battled with depression as a teenager and was hospitalised after a number of suicide attempts

'Depression is like a big heavy shadow that follows you around. It makes you feel grumpy and moody, but numb at the same time,' she blogger told Daily Mail Australia.

'I became so upset at one point I tried to kill myself. I couldn't stand feeling the way I was and I just didn't want to breathe anymore.

'But after months of treatment I can remember waking up in hospital one day and thinking I want to live and not just survive. I want to be happy again.

'Social media has really helped me on my road to recovery. It has helped me find myself and now I like to spread a positive and healthy message for others.

From the outside it looks as though Sjana has it all - good looks, a glamorous life travelling the world and incredible yoga skills (pictured) but she has fought a private battle with depression

She posted a video on her website in which she opened up about her struggle with depression

'I love getting emails and messages from people saying that I have made them smile or turned their day around.'

Sjana was just 15 when she started to feel as though she was a burden to everyone around her.

She gradually became more isolated and spent more time online on sites like Tumblr where she would most post morbid images and quotes.

'I would go online anonymously so no one could trace the site back to me. I would reblog these very morbid images. But I didn't want anyone to know how I felt inside.

'I used to sleep for up to 16 hours a day because to me it was a way of escaping reality. I became isolated and pushed away all my friends and family - but they wouldn't let me.'

Sjana's one million Instagram followers know her as a smiling, happy young woman who spreads a positive message to everyone who comes across her posts

Sjana was just 15 when she started to feel as though she was a burden to everyone around her

She gradually became more isolated and spent more time online on sites like Tumblr where she would most post morbid images and quotes when she was 15 or 16, pictured is a recent Instagram post

She was hospitalised against her will after a number of suicide attempts when she was 15 and 16.

'I remember I was convulsing on the ground and just thinking, 'make it stop, make it stop'. But I wasn't talking about the convulsions, I was taking about my breath.

'I used to repeat to myself that I was pathetic and worthless and useless. Just those three things over and over again.'

But with the help of her family she received the help she needed and began the long road to recovery.

Sjana believes that a major turning point came when she started using social media as a source of inspiration.

With the help of her family Sjana received the help she needed and began the long road to recovery

She used her own experiences to relate to others and saw her following on social media grow and grow

'I started posting happy images and content filled with sunshine. I also deleted the old morbid posts and put my name at the top of the page.

'I gave my parents all my passwords so they could check up on what I was doing. I think this is so important because you should not post anything you are not proud of.'